I don’t know about you, but our mornings are usually pretty crazy over here. I wanted to plan something special for my oldest as today is his 17th birthday. I thought I might get up in the night and decorate while he was sleeping, but then I was too tired. This morning I was excited to get my meditation practice in as I was unable to for a few months due to an early work arrangement. While I was getting comfortable in meditation I started to visualize my babies when they were little and I could see my oldest in a costume at his elementary school. I immediately felt like I was going to cry, my heart hurt. My baby is 17 today. I then contemplated the feelings we go through as mothers. We love our children so much it hurts. They are a part of us. I allowed myself to cry and ponder in the vision and to let it all out as this kind of thing comes up out of the blue more and more now. I will have a dream out of nowhere of my babies or a thought will come up out of nowhere. Time must go on and our babies must grow up. While still in meditation I then released the last of of those feelings and took a deep breath acknowledging how well my children are doing and how good of a mom I am. I tell myself this while I breath in deeply and I thank God for this wonderful job he gave me as a mother. To me there is nothing like being a mother to four very special unique humans. There are the ups and the downs, but most importantly there is the love that is so strong that keeps these kids feeling safe and secure. My hope is that they will always feel this safety and security as they make their way out there experiencing things on their own.
On this day I am reminded to stay present with my children and to be there for them when they need me. We don’t want to smother them or baby them, but do allow them to feel as though we care and are always there. I try to do my best to talk to them and ask them questions about what is going on in their lives. They don’t always feel like talking, especially the teens, but I know they like that I ask and even though on some days they may seem kinda distant, I will never stop asking. I try not to live with regrets and when I hear it all the time from other people “Oh, I wish I would have listened to my kids more or I wish I would have been there more”, at least I will always know that I did my best. That is all we really can do is our best. To stay aware that time is passing and that our children are growing. We need to make that effort to sit with them and go for a walk with them. Get in the passenger side of your son or daughter’s car and go for a ride with them. I find that my son loves to talk in the car, actually both of my teens do. Sometimes as much as we want to say something or give advice it is best we just listen. I find this especially true for my daughter. She really needs to feel heard, but all of our children need to feel heard. I have to work on that daily as I am one to want to always chime in some words of wisdom, but sometimes I just need to be quiet and listen.
May you bask in these blessed days with your own children and family, loving, playing, and growing together on this beautiful life journey.
Love always, Marcia
Here are my precious babies;
“I love you forever, I like you for always, my baby you’ll be….”