As Mother’s Day approaches I sit here and think about motherhood and the little miracles we made, the blessings, the struggles, the tears, the unknown, and the feeling of accomplishment looking into the eyes of our children when they are laughing and smiling as us. Motherhood is such a gift, yet no one really talks about how hard it can be. I love all my kids so much, but some days it is as if they take everything from me and I feel like a deflated balloon. They need me so much at this stage in their life and I sacrifice my time for them. I also analyze my choices with them until I become aware enough to tell myself I am doing the best I can with what I know. Our children lean on us even when they are moody and it may seem as though they are pulling away, but this is when they actually need us more than ever. I find that responding to my children in a more loving way helps them to relax and feel comforted enough to understand why I may say no to some of the things they want to do.
But who is gonna love us when we feel exhausted and anxious? Who is gonna wrap their arms around us and hold and comfort us when we are emotionally wiped out? Your husband might especially if you ask for it, but sometimes I feel like it is nice to fantasize about being a child again and drifting off into the simple happy times of the old days when our own mom would tell us everything was gonna be okay and we would go off to play. We shouldn’t feel guilty to want to get pampered and taken care of sometimes. We can all remember that cozy feeling of childhood when we smelled mom cooking something yummy for dinner while we hurried to finish our homework looking forward to eating with our family. Remember the feeling of contentment and happiness on a warm summer day playing with our friends, coming home as the sun went down and just truly feeling in sync with the Universe? Sometimes I miss that, but I will try to relive it through my children and let them remind me of those simpler times. Practicing gratitude will also give me the boosts I need through out the day. Then there are the days when we simply must take that walk, nap, or bike ride to get some “me” time in the quiet and stillness.
We all have different situations and yet we are all so alike in so many ways. We want to have it all together and be the best mommy we can be to our children, yet we also need to be loved and cared for ourselves. I look back to the times when it was not so easy and I wonder how I did it all back then. I have four children and even though they are growing up and I have two teens in the home it is still hard. It might even be just as hard as when they were babies, but now it is more of a mental and emotional kind of hard. Our children will need us forever. Once we become a mother our lives completely change. Not only does our body take on a physical change, but we also take on an emotional overload as we are not only trying to figure out our own emotional signals, but trying to figure out our children’s as well. I am sure a lot of you are like me in the way that when your child is hurting or struggling you feel that strain as well. We take on so much as a mother worrying about our children, our jobs, and our marriage, our finances, our health and the health of our children. With all this on our plate it amazes me that we can still remember birthday’s, soccer games, doctor and dentist appointments, teacher conferences, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. How do you we remember it all? It is another gift we have. However, lets not pretend it isn’t exhausting and we do forget sometimes. We really aren’t supermoms and are humans that make mistakes and it is OKAY. It is okay you forgot to make cupcakes for your sons birthday at school and had to call Grandma to the rescue. It is okay that you showed up an hour late for your other sons presentation because you just gave birth a month ago to his baby brother and had mommy brain. Even though he read it to you off to the side in the library, it was so precious and you tried to hold back the tears as you were just so grateful for these special moments in. The thing is, you showed up and you put your arms around your son and looked him straight in the eyes while he read his book he made for you. I ask my son about that today and he tells me that he liked reading it to me alone just the two of us in the library as it was more special to him. My heart melts every time my kids tell me things like that. They are not looking for the perfect mom, but a mom that makes them feel loved and special. Every one of our children want to feel like they really matter to us. That is another thing we wonder about, are we giving each of our children enough individual attention? Oh, the things we think about as moms.
With all of that being said, we need to be the ones to remember to give ourselves the love, attention, and recognition we need and crave. Tell yourself you are a great mom. Give yourself the love and acceptance that you need after a long exhausting day. Be the the comforting friend that reassures you that you are doing the best you can and that is all that matters. Loving yourself deeply and continuously will then allow you to give that love to your children and husband. Taking care of you is very important as a mother. We tend to give give give until we are out of steam. Recharging and giving yourself what you need such as love, rest, and some quiet time will allow you to continue to be the best mom and wife you can be.
I want to wish all of you moms a very wonderful Mother’s Day. I think you are awesome and you are all doing a great job! I am with you in your struggles, joys, tears, triumphs, frustrations, and exhaustion. Keep on loving yourself just as much as you love your family.
May the Divine continue to hold you and guide you as you continue your blessed journey of motherhood. Many many blessings, Marcia