If I am honest, I would have to say marriage is HARD WORK! Just like a lot of changes in our life. Marriage is two people who are most likely completely different, hence the reason opposites attract. However, once the high from new love and romance dies down a bit and the seriousness of life kicks in such as bills, housework, children, dealing with the mother in laws, the finances, and a bunch of other stuff that comes up, we somehow feel like something is missing. I think a lot of us expect marriage to look and be a certain way. When truly, marriage is two very imperfect people along with all of their baggage from the past coming together to make a promise to always be there and love each other for the rest of their lives. Not to mention, in our marriages as we age we also go through changes in ourselves. So once we feel like we think we understand each other pretty well than something happens and there is a change in us and therefore our needs in the marriage evolve.
One thing I can say that I know for sure is that life is always changing. Our needs will always change and with marriage it is especially crucial that we understand this so we can evaluate what is necessary to be adjusted. We cannot expect our significant other to read our minds. It is so important to communicate your needs with your partner. You both will have your own individual needs and some will be different. I believe marriage is teamwork. There has to be a balance between the two partners taking on the responsibilities and communication is key. We cannot change our partner, but what we can do is change ourselves to work on responding to them in a more loving way so they pick up the love and caring vibe we send out. Remember that your husband or wife has their own list of issues that they are dealing with and sometimes they are not feeling good inside and our response to certain things may trigger them to show us their frustrations, past hurts, or insecurities. If only one partner is willing to change even after they are informed of the other partners needs and concerns than there is nothing more you can do. It takes hard work and I believe we all need to get educated on how men and women are different, learn what works, and implement those guidelines into a daily practice.
So many people reach this point in their lives when change happens, may it be them or their partner and they start looking at ways to escape the feeling of discontent. Some will try to escape with alcohol while others may play more video games or take more golf outings. These are ways that people might try to avoid looking at their marriage and accepting something isn’t right. We all need to look inside of ourselves and ask what is it that I need to work on as a wife/husband? What can I do to make my marriage beautiful so that it will set a good example for my children to see what a good marriage really looks like? I have asked these questions to myself and it really helped me to study up on relationships specifically marriage. Marriage will come with lots of mistakes and possibly some regrets, but if you both forgive each other, strive to be the best of yourself, and put love first which includes GOD in my opinion, then things will fall in place as they are meant to. I believe it’s the ups and downs that we go through together that make us stronger as a couple as long as we allow forgiveness and love to lead the way.
I pray that you all will meet your partner halfway in growing into a beautiful, deep understanding of the true meaning of love in your marriage. Love, peace, and joy, Marcia
A couple books I highly recommend to help you get on the right track if you are struggling in your marriage or would just like some better understanding on relationships, these are wonderful.